1. Texans should never reproduce in the summertime. Tooooooooo hot.
2. I haven’t stopped perspiring since May.
3. Please oh please let Baby T come two weeks early.
4. People still say crummy things to pregnant ladies, even in Texas.
5. “Are you going to make it home before that baby?” is not an ok thing to say to a pregnant lady.
6. “Are you sure there’s only one in there?” is not an ok thing to say to a pregnant lady.
7. The other day someone was telling me that she encountered a very pregnant lady in the grocery store who was chowing down on a pint of Ben and Jerry’s with her own silver spoon, while letting her 10-ish-year-old daughter push the grocery cart around and put items into it. I cannot stop laughing about this. Mostly because I wish I could do it.
8. Don’t ask me right now if I will have any more kids after this. Ask me a year from now.
9. I am gratified to discover that I can still play my guitar around my ginormous belly. Somehow I escaped the laws of physics on this.
10. The temperature dropped below 90 the other morning, and I actually went for a walk.
11. I’m hungry for tempeh-bacon sandwiches. On Ezekiel bread. With barbecue sauce on them, and avocado slices, and baby kale leaves, and pepper jack cheese. BabyDaddy has been accommodating about this so far.
12. Poor Little B. Her mama is tired and only willing to play tea party whilst laid out on the sofa. On the upside, she gets lots more almond-butter-and-jelly sandwiches because Mama is too tired to cook much.
13. Poor BabyDaddy. That’s all. Poor BabyDaddy.
14. Happily, Little B seems to have great affection for her unborn sister. She goes around the house saying, “Baby T coming soon!” We’ll see what tune she’s singing once T arrives.
15. Tiny T’s room is going to be cuuuute. If I could ever get it finished. If I could ever get the energy to get it finished.
16. I think I’ve finally decided on these diapers. Has anyone used them?
17. Little B is made of watermelon. Tiny T is made of dried mangos. (and tempeh-bacon sandwiches.)
18. Moving residences during pregnancy is not advisable if you can help it. Trust me on this; I’ve done it twice.
19. A few days back I was talking to a friend about her experience nursing her newborn, and I realized I was jealous. I want to be nursing my newborn too. I take this as a good sign.
20. BabyDaddy and I see any new baby and get all googly-eyed. We have baby fever. Good thing we’re having a baby.
21. My Midwife adamantly wants me to gain more weight. More than the 30-plus pounds I’ve already gained? Whaa? Yes, she says, You’re gonna need it….. Watch out, Ben and Jerry.
22. Hot as it has been (although thankfully cooling off a little lately), the thought of going for a run is so delicious. Oh, to move quickly and lightly and rhythmically. As soon as I pop this baby out, it’s on.
23. My friend Brooke recently gave birth to her second child precipitously; as in, in a wheelchair in the parking garage of the hospital with a total of two pushes after less than two hours of labor. More jealousy (of the 2 pushes/<2hr labor part, not so much the wheelchair part). Statistically, just because I know her that will never happen to me.
24. The Midwives assure me labor/birth-giving will most likely be shorter/easier this time, since it mostly is for second babies, so they say. Nice.
25. I still look back on my experience giving birth to B as one of the most profound, powerful, and life-affirming experiences of my life, and am grateful to be given the opportunity to do it again regardless of how hard it might be.
26. Pedicures are a pleasure of pregnancy. Someone’s gotta do it, and I can’t reach them, so …
27. It’s hard not to feel embarrassed by how enormous my belly is. I know this is my own weakness and vanity. Plus the fact that my belly is freaking enormous, and I still have weeks to go.
28. I have instructed BabyDaddy to please have a Mexican Martini ready and waiting for me as soon as I’m done giving birth. It’s a sacrifice to go through Texas summer with no margaritas.
29. I’ve been reading this fantasy novel about a dude who gets infected with a kind of magic that makes him really fat, and the fatter he gets, the more magic he has. He just keeps getting fatter and fatter no matter if he eats or not, but he’s ravenously hungry all the time, regardless. Is it sad that I can relate to this? Maybe I have a belly full of magic. (I’m pretty sure I do.)
30.Don’t judge me for my literary distractions at this point. Anything to get my mind off it, and to pass the time between 1:30 a.m. and 4:30 a.m. when I am typically not sleeping.
31. If you come over to my house, don’t look at the floor. Mopping is not within the Realm of Things I Do at this point.
32. Ugh, raspberry leaf tea is not yummy. Somebody make me a raspberry leaf tea margarita.
33. I love having little girls. For lots of reasons. One is that you get to put pink pom-pom trim on the bathroom window curtains.
34. Try singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (a.k.a Tinkew Tinkew Widda Tar) with a 30-lb toddler
sitting on curled around your belly and an unborn child snuggling her rump into your diaphragm and you will have one sweet, albeit breathless, experience.