Frillingly Frank: Movie Review: Water for Elephants (SPOILERS)

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Here’s the breakdown:

Present Day: Cute old man, found in the rain, outside a circus. Sad.

Flashback to cute old man as a young chap fresh out of Cornell.

Parents die. He’s left with nothing. Wanders the tracks. Very sad.

Chap hops on a circus train. Gets hired by the ring-leader-crazy-guy to be the vet.

Falls in love with Rosie the elephant, and, oh yeah, the crazy guys wife.

The crazy guy, is, like, mentally ill.The animals are mistreated. There’s domestic violence. Young chap and crazy-guy’s-wife kind of have an affair, but not really.

Crazy-guy beats them up, they run away, then they really do have an affair. <insert typical Hollywood sex scene>

Crazy guy finds them, steals back wifey, Chap goes after them, random guys let all the animals out of their cages.

Circus goes crazy. Crazy guy tries to kill wifey, Rosie the elephant saves wifey. Random guy tries to kill Chap, other random guy saves Chap.

Wifey and Chap and Rosie the elephant live happily ever after.

And in case the death, animal cruelty, domestic violence, or star-crossed lovers didn’t make you cry, they go in for the kill at the very end by showing black and white clips, babies, and old people. Like, all at once.

Indications that you have no soul might be measured by a person’s NOT tearing up in this movie.

The Frills: Overall I thought it was well done. Seriously, though, it was a pretty movie. The costumes and animals and settings were PRETTY. And I like pretty. 

The Not-So-Frilling: Rob and Reese have, like, zero chemistry. Oh, and I wanted to rip my hair out a few times cause of the suspense. I went as far as frantically searching google for the plot because I just couldn’t BEAR it!

Still, I think I give it a B+. What did you guys think? Anyone see the movie?

- Aurelia

*All photos can be found here.

fran & aurelia

Fran likes knitting, cooking, reading design blogs, curating her home, and wearing chunky jewelry.

Aurelia likes baking, fashion, hosting lovely dinner parties, and laughing at clever and witty things.

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